My own words rang in my ears after I answered the somewhat obtuse saleswoman in Macy’s this evening. She had asked if she could help me with anything. I had been standing hypnotically in the bedding section comparing the colors in the image on my iphone with the colors on the various quilts and comforters. I awoke out of my trance and quickly answered, ” I am just looking for a comforter”, and reached again for my iphone to show her the image. She, however, had ignored me and moved on to other things. I really was seeking help, but she was apparently just reciting the line she must say hundreds of times a day, not really expecting to have someone need her. The space in time and the silence that followed allowed me to ponder my answer. ” I am just looking for a comforter”. I laughed out loud. Not “ha ha” funny. Ironic funny. I was looking for a comforter. I was looking for comfort. She had been no comfort at all.
This has been a very hard week for me for various reasons, and I found myself wandering around looking for the perfect bed covering for my bedroom. I have been doing this for months. Piece by piece, (remember the jewelry endeavor?) I am trying to create a place of order and solace in my bedroom, and eventually, my home. I want it to be a sanctuary where I can rest, journal, seek God, read, and just be with my husband.(oh, and dance!) A place of peace and safety.
I actually started the process several months ago by taking everything down from the walls. The only thing I have up is a canvas above my bed of the image above. It looks like a window above our bed with an eternal scene from autumn outside. I love the colors in that canvas. I call the image “Fall Kaleidoscope”. It is my work and it brings me joy and peace to have it there. Now, for the rest of the room. I don’t know where to start, whether it be a beautiful comforter or the wall color. (I would love suggestions!) SO many colors!
Still seeking comfort in my surroundings, in my soul, and in my spirit. I am reminded of a Scripture from Psalm 62 while I pursue this journey:
“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him”. May it be so.
6 Comments
Your thoughts are beautifully written, as usual. I’m glad you took time to put them down for us to see.
It makes me sad to think of you wandering around Macy’s alone, staring at the colors on comforters. I want to be there with you, making you laugh.
I love you very much.
Hey beautiful and talented sister……my suggestion is this…if you find a comforter you like then buy it and work off of the colors of the comforter…..if you have a certain paint color that is tranquil to you..then paint your walls and find a comforter that will compliment the color. If you need help with this….I would certainly have fun shopping with you! Love you so much…..Dinah
Beautiful image. I immediately thought “Kaleidoscope” when I saw it. Then I read your comments. Perfect. Pray you find what you are looking for.
I like this . . . such a contrast to the whirlwind that is our life together.
I look forward to the unfolding blooms of rest and sanctuary.
Watching you wrestle with the deeper messages of your soul is one of my life’s privileges. So dance.
Dearest friend,
I read your blog with sadness yet in awe of the beautiful woman that you have become. I love that picture that you have up in your room. How perfect and what absolutely gorgeous colors! You can’t go wrong picking a color for you wall with that picture. WOw! I would stay with the warm colors just because i like warm but you may like the cool blues and pinks. There is even a little purple in it.
whatever you pick, i’m sure it will be lovely.
I just wish i could be there to help you and share in the process.
love you so much, Heidi
Hi Mary Anne,
We don’t know each other but I have had the exquisite of experience of first hearing about your work from my college kids (I’m the new WE admin) and then seeing it on your wonderful website~ God has truly gifted you – do you ever wonder what new earth may have looked like? Sometimes when I see your work it reminds me of what we have to look forward to – Thank you for sharing your heart and your talent!
Short Haired Hippy chick Jesus freak – aka – Amanda the Admin.