My own words rang in my ears after I answered the somewhat obtuse saleswoman in Macy’s this evening. She had asked if she could help me with anything. I had been standing hypnotically in the bedding section comparing the colors in the image on my iphone with the colors on the various quilts and comforters. I awoke out of my trance and quickly answered, ” I am just looking for a comforter”, and reached again for my iphone to show her the image. She, however, had ignored me and moved on to other things. I really was seeking help, but she was apparently just reciting the line she must say hundreds of times a day, not really expecting to have someone need her. The space in time and the silence that followed allowed me to ponder my answer. ” I am just looking for a comforter”. I laughed out loud. Not “ha ha” funny. Ironic funny. I was looking for a comforter. I was looking for comfort. She had been no comfort at all.
This has been a very hard week for me for various reasons, and I found myself wandering around looking for the perfect bed covering for my bedroom. I have been doing this for months. Piece by piece, (remember the jewelry endeavor?) I am trying to create a place of order and solace in my bedroom, and eventually, my home. I want it to be a sanctuary where I can rest, journal, seek God, read, and just be with my husband.(oh, and dance!) A place of peace and safety.
I actually started the process several months ago by taking everything down from the walls. The only thing I have up is a canvas above my bed of the image above. It looks like a window above our bed with an eternal scene from autumn outside. I love the colors in that canvas. I call the image “Fall Kaleidoscope”. It is my work and it brings me joy and peace to have it there. Now, for the rest of the room. I don’t know where to start, whether it be a beautiful comforter or the wall color. (I would love suggestions!) SO many colors!
Still seeking comfort in my surroundings, in my soul, and in my spirit. I am reminded of a Scripture from Psalm 62 while I pursue this journey:
“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him”. May it be so.
6 Comments
Your thoughts are beautifully written, as usual. I’m glad you took time to put them down for us to see. 🙂
It makes me sad to think of you wandering around Macy’s alone, staring at the colors on comforters. I want to be there with you, making you laugh.
I love you very much.
Hey beautiful and talented sister……my suggestion is this…if you find a comforter you like then buy it and work off of the colors of the comforter…..if you have a certain paint color that is tranquil to you..then paint your walls and find a comforter that will compliment the color. If you need help with this….I would certainly have fun shopping with you! Love you so much…..Dinah
Beautiful image. I immediately thought “Kaleidoscope” when I saw it. Then I read your comments. Perfect. Pray you find what you are looking for.
I like this . . . such a contrast to the whirlwind that is our life together.
I look forward to the unfolding blooms of rest and sanctuary.
Watching you wrestle with the deeper messages of your soul is one of my life’s privileges. So dance.
Dearest friend,
I read your blog with sadness yet in awe of the beautiful woman that you have become. I love that picture that you have up in your room. How perfect and what absolutely gorgeous colors! You can’t go wrong picking a color for you wall with that picture. WOw! I would stay with the warm colors just because i like warm but you may like the cool blues and pinks. There is even a little purple in it.
whatever you pick, i’m sure it will be lovely.
I just wish i could be there to help you and share in the process.
love you so much, Heidi
Hi Mary Anne,
We don’t know each other but I have had the exquisite of experience of first hearing about your work from my college kids (I’m the new WE admin) and then seeing it on your wonderful website~ God has truly gifted you – do you ever wonder what new earth may have looked like? Sometimes when I see your work it reminds me of what we have to look forward to – Thank you for sharing your heart and your talent!
Short Haired Hippy chick Jesus freak – aka – Amanda the Admin.