Upside Down
Some days are just like this. Everything feels upside down and out of focus. It takes three times the effort to do the same tasks that seemed easy the day before. I feel blindsided, tackled from behind. I question myself over and over again. Am I sad or just hungry? Where are my keys? Why did I come into this room again? Is there an elephant standing on my chest? I can’t breathe!
I see you there, grief. Sliding in without a whisper you lay anchor to me, heart soul and body, taking me slowly down. The colors mingle into browns and grays and nothing seems right anymore. Yes, I know you. I am learning to stop resisting you. Your visits though unpleasant, are necessary for me to be whole. I have to allow your heaviness to show me the weakened places – the holes that need filling with his grace. Sometimes I need to pray, letting Jesus gently guide you in. Sometimes I need to read his promises and remind myself of the truths that far outweigh any burden you could bring.
Sometimes I just need a nap.
I am learning to allow myself grace on these days. I am just me, living the best I know how with God’s help. He will do what he wants to do. I am his.
Visit if you must, but please don’t stay long. I have some laughter to get back to.
Psalm 30:5 ~”Weeping may last for the night, but there is a song of joy in the morning.”
3 Comments
Beautifully written. Sometimes we spend so much energy resisting when Gods hand of grace has been there all along to guide us THROUGH.
I have more and more of those days that they have started to be normal. My dogs can always find a way to get me going. I am sure that yours do the same for you.
Mary Anne, I clicked on over via Ann V’s weekend linkups. Wow, what lovely words and images.
I wrote a post with a similar title last month…..http://www.threewaylight.blogspot.com/2013/12/some-days.html
Thank God for his light in between all the days.
Your ‘Shine’ post stunning.
God bless you.