Happy Birthday Johnny

Dearest Johnny,

Today is the day we mark the day of your birth. I am so grateful for this day. When you came into our lives we were running full tilt doing ministry and raising two girls- your beautiful sisters.  Because of the busyness of that season, we felt inadequate to plan for another child. Thankfully, God had more beautiful plans. You and your purpose here were written on the palms of his hands long before I met your daddy. I know that now more than ever. He has wonderful and deeply satisfying work for you to do. But even better than that- he loves you so, as do we.

When I saw your daddy hold you for the first time I marveled at the beautiful chemistry between the two of you. You were his son, his first boy. I love the image above – you desperately trying to adjust to the air of this fallen world and him cradling your tiny frame speaking life into you. Strength and tenderness equally coexisting.

He still does that, you know.

Your sisters were also so glad to finally hold you. They both loved you from the start and even though they didn’t know how to do brother things just yet, they were eager and willing to learn along side you.

Everything you do, you do with your whole heart. You have been this way from the beginning. You rode the springs off that little rocking horse in the den until you could move on to a bike and then a real horse. I loved watching you ride your bike down the street. You were untethered when you were on that bike. You would fly over the hill in the yard and then coast to the cul de sac, your face one big grin. Sometimes if I was close enough to you I could hear you singing softly to yourself. So much joy.

It was hard letting you become a man. I read books that told me to let you go and do dangerous (or so I thought) things with your daddy. I nearly had to staple my feet to the floor to keep from running after you when you went on your adventures. I would call out a few last minute instructions to your daddy and he would always smile and say “don’t worry”. I did anyway. I loved you so.

I loved you enough to let you go a little.

Before long you were stretching me beyond my limits with camping, repelling, trips to Guatemala, riding dirt bikes and getting your drivers license. What’s a mother to do? Pray. I have learned to place you little by little into you heavenly father’s hands. He alone can be with you in the places my arms cannot reach. He alone can give you everything you need. He alone loves you more than your daddy and I do. And it helps that you are a smart kid. You have learned how to take care of yourself and be wise in your decisions. This brings me much comfort. Best of all, you have come to know this same God who made you and hears this mother’s prayers.

Watching you grow up has been the joy of my life. You and your sisters have helped me become who I am. I am so deeply proud of who you are- but not because of anything I have done. God has done it and I give him all the glory. He has made you into a man after his own heart. There is no greater joy for a mother.

Happy 22nd birthday my son. May he give you a life full of years walking with him. He’s got you.

Love you so,

Mom

Psalm 1:2,3 ~”But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.”