Reset and Rest
The phrase “come about” in sailing means “to change course so as to be sailing at the same angle but with the wind on the other side.” I wish I had a beautiful sailing photograph to illustrate this but I don’t. Just the lovely roses from my garden.
I am off balance. I need to reset and rest. I am tired and wondering who I am and what I am about anymore. While raising my beautiful pups I had several people unsubscribe from my blog and I am okay with that. (They emailed me personally to do so.) I can only be who I am. One of them even chose to write me and tell me how breeders like me are responsible for all the puppies in the rescue facilities. That hurt after I have tried so hard to raise puppies who would be blessings to their families. I work so hard to try to do things well. A little too hard I think. I am reeling from my puppy rearing experience. And yet, I plan to do it again next year. It was a true meeting of the things God put in me. I have a deep love for animals, a strong mothering instinct, (which is temporarily not needed in my world) and I love to photograph sweet things. It was a good thing, but a hard thing.
I have come to terms with the fact I am not like other famous bloggers or photographers. I am just me. We can only be who God has for us to be. I cannot lead the world in blogging or book writing. I started a 365 this year and failed terribly. I raised puppies and fell off the face of the earth. I have clients and friends wondering if I am ever returning to my previous life. I wonder that too. My husband would like to take me on a date without my worrying about getting home to take care of animals. My house is a wreck. I was deeply hoping I could replace my 15 year old carpet with puppy money but that is not working out so well either. The truth is old carpet cannot tell me who I am. Only God can.
So here I am sitting on my back porch pondering the beauty of the roses on my table. I am seeking a grateful heart. I am asking the Father to help me to come about. I need the wind on the other side of the boat now. I confess I am a mess. I confess I go to the extremes in everything I do. Only he can keep me from capsizing.
He holds me. He holds all of it.
Finding my way by counting one beautiful grace at a time. Today it is roses on my table.
Psalm 18:28 ~”You make my lamp bright. The Lord my God lights my darkness.”
Grace
21 Comments
“I am just me.” Yes, and you are a beautiful you. Thank you for sharing your gifts with the world, no matter how difficult that may be at times. It inspires me to try and do the same. God bless you!
Just breathe, Mary Anne. Sit and stare. Really look at a favorite view spot. . . for a good, long time. Like 1-2 hours. Sit until you see the space looking back at you and then listen to what it says. I promise, you will be a new person. You will have heard from God. You do beautiful work. You have many interests. There’s not a thing wrong with any of that. Be who you are.
Mary Anne,
It is people like you who offer honesty in real life situations. You give the readers of your blog the courage to lean into God all the more.
We all have the option of “doing it ourselves” or “keeping up” and at break neck pace most of the time.
When I see/read your blogs I breathe deeper. I can see through the illusions that earthly wisdom offers. I am reminded that I need to be present.
I for one say thank you for your honesty. Thank you for sharing. Always!
Carrie
We have never met, but I want you to know you have been a blessing and an inspiration to me since I started following you. The Morgan family was very dear to my family when we lived in WS. I was the choir director at Bethany years ago and think the world of Mary Alice and Jim!
Anyway, I admire your love of animals, family, God, and beauty around you. I understand your need to raise the pups as if they would be with you for their lifetime! We raised cocker spaniels for a short while; it is exhausting- but also rewarding! You have given several families new family members that will give them countless years of happiness. Shame on anyone who would see it otherwise!
I retired as a middle school principal four years ago. There were times I was so misunderstood and I became very disheartened that those around me just didn’t understand my intentions. A good friend came in and kept repeating, “This too shall pass”.
I believe your intentions for your family and your animals haven’t wavered. You have a big, kind heart and I will keep you in my prayers that you find peace knowing what an inspiring woman you are to so many!
Mary Anne, your rose photos and your heart are precious and beautiful. I’m grateful to be one of your followers and I want to add my own words of encouragement to what others are writing. Please know that the Lord is holding you tenderly in His hands, the way you held each of those puppies. He will be faithful and will open doors for you … perhaps opportunity to volunteer to hold special needs newborns at a local hospital or to work at a nearby animal shelter. I feel He may be using your current state of mind in an attempt to gently guide you toward some new way of honoring and fulfilling that motherly heart that makes you such a beautiful person. This motherly heart is a very special and wonderful gift He has given you.
Mary Anne, I’m so sorry you feel disheartened, but you are wise enough to know you have to accept yourself as you are, and to trust in the Lord, who loves you as you are. At the end of the day, there will always be folk who criticise what we do or say and not understand, but somehow we have to forgive and forget. Hard, I know! I have only been following you for about a year over here in UK, but I love what you do – your photos are exquisite and you speak to my heart in your love for the Lord. ‘Joy shall come in the morning….’
Rest and be at peace. You are not responsible for how someone reads, interprets or processes. You are only responsible for yourself, what makes you happy and fulfilling God’s call. Thank you for your honesty. And I’m glad to see you whenever your blog posts pops up.
I am sorry the winds are not where they need to be right now, but I applaud you for even knowing that. Your photography is beautiful – it doesn’t need to be like anyone else’s. Your blog doesn’t need to be like others’ either, and as to being famous with either of those – well, that really depends on your definition of fame. What you have created has become more meaningful to others than what their words can really say. The connection you bring between God’s gifts and yours bring glory and honor to Him and spread His truth to those who come in contact with your gift. The fame then is in the right place.
And as to those who want to insult what you’ve done in raising the puppies – all I can say is perhaps they know not what they do… or at least what they are talking about. We were gifted a Shih Tzu puppy in early 2000 when she was 6 weeks old, who became our baby – a family member and pat of our hearts. I could never thank the person who bred their dog and tended to those puppies when they were born in a way that would let her really know how she enriched and blessed our lives. Thank you for loving those puppies and their mom and blessing someone else with those precious furbabies, new family members, who will in turn, be blessed with loving homes.
I will pray for you to be encouraged. You have inspired and encouraged so many of us, we want to send it back your way. I love your love for animals. I love your photography and how you zoom in on all the intricate amazing beautiful details…. Which I have started calling “the love letters” that The Lord leaves us. I have started looking to take a picture of a “letter” a day like that myself now. 🙂 You have inspired me so often to soften and be ok with my most difficult, vulnerable moments. To trust that God will meet me there to lavish on me His greatest love in Jesus. You have taught me to rest, when you decided to rest with this Blog. Thank you for all that and more.
I found you blog just a couple of months ago through Ann’s. I haven’t commented but have loved looking at your beautiful photographs and reading your words.
I understand this need to reset. I tend to be the same way myself. Please be encouraged to know you are a sweet blessing – your heart and your lovely gift.
P.S. The puppies are adorable.
I’ve only found you a couple of weeks ago…and, I think you are awesome! Wish I knew you in “real life”….I think we could very possibly be Kindred Spirits. Just remember that God calls you to only be who He has made you to be. You are a beloved creation of His hand. You cannot please everyone all of the time, you can only strive to please our Lord and live a life according to His purpose. Follow the path where He directs. You’re amazing, just the way you are!!
Mary Anne, your blog has been a source of joy to me since I found it a few months ago. I am always excited when I find that you have new pictures and new words of encouragement. I have loved all of your precious puppy pictures! Rest. Just let God hold you and fill you with His love and grace !
I too, found you through Ann, and I find nourishment for my soul in your beautiful pictures, especially with your puppies. The gift of new, the pleasure of truly seeing, the beauty in the everyday- all of this I saw through your eyes. Thank you.
Sometimes it is good to be still, to breath, and find God again. X
For you today, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matt 11:28-30 Grace, Grace and more Grace to you in this season of unforced rhythms of grace!! I loved this book maybe you will too …it is called When The Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd. Thank you for your vulnerability and courage in sharing your heart it makes me love you all the more!! Ginny
How God and I enjoyed those precious puppy photos!. It breaks my heart that someone could say something so mean to you. God loves puppies or He wouldn’t keep making them – and He pours such love, beauty and personality into each one! And how much time He must spend designing how each one’s fur is going to grow just so – with waves here – a curl there – a deep rich color throughout. It still amazes me how He manages to get a puppy’s face to look like such a baby, but as it gets older it gets a grown-up, majestic look. How does He do it? Some of us are not able to get out and about to see all the beautiful things in the world and your blog brings in the beautiful things to us. How I look forward to your photos. It is so comforting to me that I am not the only one who thinks she is a mess! Perfect porcelain people are hard, cold and brittle. You are just the way you were meant to be – designed by a God who knew exactly what He was doing when He made you, and He’s delighted you love His puppies! You have friends who think the world of you and we outnumber the mean people. So – the majority wins.
It doesn’t matter what I think, but in an effort to encourage a sister, I think you’re awesome. You are truly gifted and honor God by sharing your heart and talent with others. In just your way. Everyday, or every-so-often. Your pictures delight and together with your words, inspire. Keep on being you.
Mary Ann, I too thank you for your honesty. People need that these days. And those who follow you will appreciate you and benefit from you. As Mindy said, “Keep on being you” and keep on blogging.
Be still and know I AM. He is the only audience you need to care about! You are a blessing and you are one of the rare ones who truly does get it.
Okay…..all I can say right now is that “You are precious”! You inspire so many people with your love for animals, your love for photography, story writing and life in general! Don’t worry about other people and what they think. Everyone has an opinion. I love you and I am so proud of you!
Your big sister…….Dinah
What more can I add to all the previous beautiful comments, but a “YES!” to each one. You inspire more people than you know through your amazing photos and words of the heart. Most, probably like me, have not met you, but follow your blog, and I for one cannot find the words to tell you how I’ve been blessed through your talent, insight and honesty. God is using you in a powerful way! Don’t you dare stop being who you are meant to be! As Sue said, we find nourishment for our souls… through your eyes. Be.encouraged and know that you are loved.
you can be the ripest, juiciest peach
and there are still some who just hate peaches..
God whispers in the silence, not in the loud clanging and preaching of some..
Be who He, uniquely, created you to be sister..