Day 59 Present

I am behind again on this project- only by a day but still. I will try to post again tonight to catch up. I have had a bad cold this week and it has been tough to keep up.

Last night I was feeling particularly low when I found these cheerful tulips at the grocery store. I knew I had to bring them home. They instantly brought cheer to an otherwise yucky sick day. I think God gave us tulips and jonquils in the last days of winter when we are tempted to believe it will last forever. Their bright faces seem to say, “Don’t despair. Spring is coming.”

When I gathered them into their vase last night I felt a settling come over my angsty heart. No, I couldn’t solve all the dilemmas I was feeling, but I could enjoy the beautiful gift before me. This is the sweet mystery of gratitude. We allow ourselves to be happy in the small moments and our hearts soften and receive the gifts we already have. My pain is deep. I miss my Mama and sometimes the waves of grief threaten to take me under. This week has been awash with those rising tides. But God saves me again and again. He tethers me to himself and says he will never leave me or forsake me.

I see him in the faces of these flowers. He says, “Don’t despair. Spring is coming.”

I am still here, counting these gifts and I will continue as long as his grace allows. I am thankful how he pulls me into the present again and again and tells me he is near. He is the great I AM, meaning he is always in the moment we are in. He lives in the present with us. We lose our way when we are distracted with the past or worrying about the future because he is here with us now.

Breathe. Enjoy. Live with him here in this moment. He is here and he is near.

Exodus 3:14,15 ~”God said to Moses, ‘I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’  God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’ This is my name forever, the name you shall call me from generation to generation.”