Day 56 Upside Down

One of my favorite things about Gerber daisies is that they hang their heads down low. They remind me that it is okay to grieve. It is okay to feel low and feel like the world is upside down. When you lose someone you love, the world is upside down.

Yesterday we worked in the front garden preparing for Annie’s upcoming wedding. All of it plucked at my heartstrings– how I shared gardening with both of my parents and how they won’t be here for one of the biggest events of my life. It all came together a bit cataclysmically on that front sidewalk last night. My dad helped me plant the wild verbena that we had to pull up because it was taking over the garden. My mom loved the bee balm that also had to come out. Crazy how plants can bring back the deep memories of a person. Pulling those things up felt like an uprooting of their memories a bit. In my heart I know that isn’t true but I just wanted to hold on a little longer to those straggly plants that connected me to them.

When I awoke this morning the Gerbers were sinking and swaying their heads around their vase. Yes, thank you. It felt like understanding. The whole world wants you to hurry up and heal when you are hurting. There are few who can tolerate sitting in grief alongside the broken. The daisies did that for me this morning. God works in beautiful ways.

It’s okay to let your head hang low. There is plenty of time for singing when the new mercies arrive.

The Lord is near.

Psalm 34:18 ~”The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”