Day 28 Color

It has been a tough day. I couldn’t shake the gray all day. One of the hardest things about doing a 365 Project is that I cannot just hide my heart away. Every day I am here, pulling the doors wide. Some days are just plain hard when you are walking through grief.

I went to the grocery store tonight looking for some color. I needed to get out and be among people and to find some lovely flowers. These beauties were in the clearance bin for two dollars. Amazing that something so exquisite could only be two dollars. I gathered two bunches and purchased them along with the ingredients for coconut curry. Fragrant food and colorful flowers are good for the soul.

When I got home I asked Chris to dance with me while the rice simmered. He swept in and held me while 70’s songs played on his phone. I laughed and then I cried. Joy and sadness often intersect at the most tender places.  I wanted to keep that moment just a little longer – all the broken pieces of me spilling out and him gathering them into his gentle hands. His blue eyes still shine when he looks at me.

Tonight when the house was quiet I focused once again on the brilliant orange tulips from the bargain bin. Their heads hung low in the most melancholy way. ” I understand.” I whispered to them as I clicked my shutter. They were still so beautiful.

God is familiar with grief. He does not run from pain but draws near to our broken hearts. He longs to be gracious to us.

Pulling the doors wide again tonight to let him in.

 

Isaiah 53:4 ~”Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried;”

Psalm 34:18 ~”The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 24:7 ~”Lift up your heads, you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.”