Day 43 Johnny

“What you doing?” he asks me sweetly. I am standing at my dresser trying to figure out that just that. I am feeling tired. I love the familiar tone of his voice. He sounds like his daddy more and more each day. I haven’t answered him yet but he continues, “Dad and I are going outside to cut wood if you want to get your photo for the day.” He genuinely cares about my project, but he cares more about me. He has seen me swing low in grief’s grasp since his grandma passed away in October. He is encouraging me to get outside in the sunshine and stay present.

Johnny with a chainsaw in his hand is just about as natural as it gets. I jokingly say that I didn’t raise him– the back woods did. He spent a lot of his growing up time deep in these woods. We home schooled him so he had lots of time to gather in the goodness of the quiet woods.  It was medicine for his melancholy soul.  He kept a journal on the trees- the bark and leaves of each one. He knows them all by heart. The Beech tree is his favorite. He loves its brilliant color in the fall and the smooth bark.

He also spent time in the deer stand, on his dirt bike, and with his friends on adventures. Now he treads these familiar paths in prayer late at night, much like his daddy did at this age. A mother couldn’t ask for more than that.

I love you my boy– you and your winsome smile. Day 43 is done. I am here- present and accounted for.

Psalm 86:11 ~”Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.”