Heads Hanging Down
It’a another cold, rainy Monday. They seem to come packaged that way. The flowers bow their heads under the weight of the gloom. “I understand”, I whisper softly. Yes, yes, I do.
It takes a lot to make me quit. It’s not an admirable quality really, this stubbornness. Sometimes my stubbornness hurts me. But I am quitting this 365. While my heart is in this, I cannot do it every day. In 2011, I did it. Every. Single. Day. But this time, I am suffering. I am not sleeping well.
I hate admitting that I am weak. I hate letting people down. But I have to. I am so tired.
I will still blog often. I will still respond to emails. I will still seek out the beauty and bring it glistening from my pockets to share. I can’t not do that.
God made me for this.
Thank you to everyone who supported this effort. It is not like I was doing anything really noble, but I am still grateful to those who loved me through it.
Janey (my goldendoodle) is having puppies in less than two weeks and I will be sharing lots of pictures of the babies here soon.
Love and blessings,
xxoo
Mary Anne
2 Corinthians 12:9 ~”But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
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28 Comments
Hi Mary Anne, I have been following your blog for about six months now over here in UK and have loved every wise word, every ravishing picture. But, at the end of the day, you have to take time for yourself, so rest in the Lord and re-coup your strength. God bless you and keep you. MaryR
Hi Mary! Thank you for reading my little posts. My daughter spent some time at Oxford University there and loved it so. I got to go see her there and feel in love with the UK.
I understand and I agree, it is wise to take time to heal. But I’m glad you’ll still be blogging because I so enjoy your work. Also, sometimes the most beautiful things grow out of our most painful experiences. Many blessings to you Mary Anne!
Angel, you are so right. Beauty does come from pain. I have seen it many times. God does that.
I’ll be grateful for any and all things you put in this space, whenever you put them here. Let it go – don’t fret. Your work will shine whenever you have the space to put it here. Thank you for all that has come thus far and for whatever is still to come.
Thank you sweet Diana. I appreciate that so much! I love your blog as well. You have so much wisdom to share. Thank you for all you do.
Mary Anne,
You have no idea what perfect timing this is for me personally. I have always been a person of “goals”. I set goals, usually aggressive goals, and keep them. I push myself to the point of exhaustion in order to keep those goals. This year, I set a goal to complete one unique piece of furniture each month. This is not my profession- just the hobby that has become a passion. I was in the last days of February trying desperately to complete my monthly project, and realized that my passion had suddenly become a burden. This just shouldn’t be, I told myself. Nonetheless I pushed through and completed that project on time. I am now in the middle of my next one and instead of looking forward to heading to the workshop after work, I am looking for an excuse NOT to go.
After reading your blog, I clearly understand that God is telling me to enjoy the journey, even if it doesn’t take me where I planned to go. I will continue my woodworking, but my new commitment is to enjoy every minute that I do it. As soon as I feel that joy leaving me, I will stop – even if that means not completing a piece “on-time”.
Your journey has released me from my own unnecessary shackles. For that, and the many other joys I receive from following your photography, I thank you!
This is a blessing to me, Tom. Thank you for sharing your journey with me as well.
I will look forward to each and every day you do post. I love the way you see God’s love, His mercies, faith, etc… in God’s creation. I am sad you will not be posting every day – out of my own selfishness because I love you posts, but more than that, I applaud you for realizing you need to stop – that takes great strength and confidence! So until you post again – rest well, love your family, love life, and keep seeing His goodness! Thank you – from the bottom of my heart!
Hi Mimi, thank you for grace. I will be back very soon. Blessings, blessings sweet Mimi.
Hi Mary! I just want to thank you for sharing your amazing gift and God-inspired word. It would always brightened my day to read scripture and take in the beauty from your lens. Thank you so much for being honest and authentic. I am a home school mom and there are so many days that I beat myself up or don’t allow myself permission to feel tired or worn down. The truth is, we are human and it’s when we admit our ‘neediness” that we truly turn to God. He is the giver of all good things. P.S. I feel like I know you after reading your sweet posts of your family. Be well and be blessed! Heather
Heather, oh I get it. A home school mom? Been there! Yes you absolutely have permission to feel tired. I do know this. The days when I was homeschooling, I felt like God kept filling the jar with oil until I didn’t need it anymore. I was an empty vessel. He will do the same for you. Thank you for your kind words. Blessings to you and your sweet family.
Thank you for your courage to rest, Mary Anne.
I have been feeling weak today and wanting to run from that feeling. You have reminded me of how God’s strength will shine in us in our weakness. Thank you for helping me to soften toward myself today. Tears of love and joy sent your way.
So sweet, Liza. Your words bless me. Yes, grace for you too. God is with us both. Not only with us, but in us, around us, for us. Blessings to you, Liza.
Hello! I just started following your blog yesterday, found it via A Holy Experience. No worries, as a Sunday school teacher told me once, “All you can do is all you can do, and that’s all you can do.” I’ve enjoyed your archived posts immensely and look forward to future postings, if they be frequent or infrequent. Blessings to you!
Thank you Sandy. I believe that statement because it is so true. Thank you for coming and staying a bit at my little space here. Blessings to you.
There should never be any obligation to blog. And I would hate to think you were being worn down because of your art. Beauty such as you offer is sustenance to the soul, but not if it is draining from you. I wish you peace and comfort and many blessings.
Beautiful Sarah! So nice to see you here! Thank you for your kind words, and I agree. In truth, the beauty doesn’t drain me. The pressure I put on myself drains me. Working a full time job and blogging beauty drains me. With God’s help, I will sort it all out. Thank you, thank you.
Maryanne, Grace, Grace, all is Grace !! Thank you, Ginny
Thank you sweet Ginny. I receive that!
Hi Mary Anne,
You don’t know me, but I feel like I know you through your beautiful gift of photography. My cousin, Nancy Westmoreland (attends 12 Stone) turned me on to your blog a few months ago. I have never commented, but have enjoyed your daily “365” as well as just reading back through previous posts. The heart you have for God and for your family comes through in everything you post. And you have such a beautiful God-given talent with your camera and your words! I don’t see you as a quitter at all. I think sometimes we put too much pressure on our selves that we almost crack under the load of it all. SO, we will all continue to enjoy your blog posts, whenever you are able to post!
God bless you muchly! (and congrats on the soon-to-be arrival of Janey’s babies. Can’t wait to see pics!)
Doing the 365 was an inspiration to me, and seeing the ways you capture God’s creations and the Scriptures He gives you, well, I always felt privileged to see these posts. I know you will still have more posts, but I think even God wants us to take a break now and again. He did, after all!
Mary Anne
Don’t let the enemy beat you up. It is ok to go and find rest. God would want you to do your very best but leave the rest to Him. He know what is best. Write and take pictures when you can I so enjoy them everytime I get them. Even if I don”t receive one daily It is ok. Blessing to you.
Connie Burkett
Taylorsville KY
I adore your hard work and appreciate your humanness. For everything a season, whether you post each day, once a month or a year… I will eagerly read them and enjoy the inspired feelings you have evoked in my soul. I will also go seeking inspiration for myself and not just simply live through others photos (as gorgeous as they are), this lesson itself was giant for me, thank you!! Wishing you peace, rest and many blessings. 🙂
I understand. Blessings on your decision. I know it is right.
Understand completely but will miss your photos, ponderings on God and scripture. Thank you for sharing with us. May God continue to richly bless your gifts.
I am so blessed to read all these comments Mary Anne. Your heart is so beautiful and your love for God and your family so evident. I love the revelations that you and others have had as you struggled with this part in your journey. Change is so often painful, but embracing that pain and that raw honesty allows you to see things in an entirely new way. I applaud your self-awareness and willingness to “let go” of the notions we have that bind us and to embrace the changes that allow our spirit to bloom.
I am just catching up on my mail and just read this and admit I took a deep sigh. Oh how I love your blog, but how much more I love you, your spirit and because of that, I ask you to take a very long deep sigh of relief and then rest. I love to know that some day we will meet, as will I meet every precious person God has allowed to cross my path in blogs, books. You and so many others I have never met here on earth have become “old friends” whom I can’t wait to meet at “Suppertime”, (Rev. 19:9). I will love listening and watching for any windows opened by you in the days ahead!
May the Lord bless you and keep you!
Beverly
TX