365 2014 Day 50 Sky

I have to remind myself daily that this project isn’t about what I can do. This visual counting of gifts can often feel like it has to be contrived. Just like everything else when it come to walking with God. It’s not about my efforts, but about receiving him. Why do I always lean into my own strength and not into God’s? Daily I have to lay it down again. Every day.

But today, I hit the wall. I felt so tired. My work is piling up and my house is growing a layer of dust that is beginning to scare me. I can’t keep up. I just wanted to go to bed when I got home this afternoon. I just wanted to sleep. The thought of having to do another post for this project weighed heavily on me along with client requests. My pastor Kevin Myers would say this is the B zone. It is the place that sits squarely between the beginning of a project (the promising A zone) and the successful completion of one (C zone celebration time). Of course there is always the Q zone (quit) which knocks us out of the race entirely. I was hovering around the Q zone today. I was just tired.

But then I looked up. How did I miss this before? The skies stretched over me like a canopy full of clouds and glory. As the air filled my lungs, I spun around in wonder at the sight of them. And then came the exhale. Carbon dioxide mixed with worry and dissipated into the atmosphere. I found my smallness again under the looming splendor on my little country road. Isn’t striving really just self-importance cloaked in socially acceptable language? It’s not about me at all. Yes! What a relief! In gratitude I am right-sized and held in his strong but gentle hands.

The boundary lines were once again in pleasant places.

One more day trusting that God is enough. One more day learning that indeed he is and infinitely more.

Psalm 16:6 ~”The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.”

Hebrews 11:6 ~”And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”