365 2014 Day 22 When the Gray Rushes In

I walked outside and the skies looked like a picture of my spirit. The blue skies were being swallowed up by incoming gray clouds at an alarming rate. Letting out a sigh I walked Janey down the driveway, pulling my corduroy farm jacket tightly around me. Here comes the gray, I thought to myself. I don’t deal well with sadness. I had enough of it for a lifetime when I lost a baby in 2006.  A lifetime. Truly only God gets to decide how much is enough. But please, not again?

I pour my heart to Chris over dinner on our weekly date. I am concerned I am slipping into that dark hole again. He is reassuring as he touches holds my hand across the table. He looks straight into my eyes, into my heart, and says, “Nothing you are going through is uncommon to anyone. Everyone, everyone feels these things at some point in time. This is completely normal.” My shoulders relax as I let that boulder roll away. Yes, it’s true. Everyone has bad days. I breathe out a sigh of relief. It’s just a day. It’s not a year in bed again. It’s just a day.

And so I want to say to anyone who needs this: we all have bad days. We all hurt. We are all sad or angry or heartbroken at some point. Social media can be like a highlight reel for some and their lives may look perfect compared to yours. I get it. Just know that it is not always accurate. Those people? They have bad days too. They have relationships that are broken, or someone they love may be very ill. They may wake up overwhelmed and go to bed the same way. We all know grief.

We have a God who knows grief too. He pulled on our skin and walked among us in this fallen place. He cried with us, fed us and healed us. He loved us. Then he stretched out those God-in-man arms and died for us. We have a God who can relate to our pain. We are not alone.

You are not alone.

The gray days do come, but we have a God who rescues and heals, encourages and protects. I am thankful I am no longer in that dark hole. He did bring me out. Praise him! He brought me out! Today was just a day.

The mercies are new in the morning. Besides, cloudy days make lovely sunsets.

 

Isaiah 53:4-6 ~

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
    it was our sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
    a punishment for his own sins!
 But he was pierced for our rebellion,
    crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
    He was whipped so we could be healed.
 All of us, like sheep, have strayed away.
    We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
    the sins of us all.