Project 365 Day 32: Feeling Alive

Canon 5D Mark ll, 50 1.2L, 1.4 aperture, 1/25 shutter, 1600 ISO

Ever since I can remember, I have been a “get in the middle of it” kind of girl. I don’t know really know what to call it. My mom always called me “Pig Pen” from the Peanuts Gallery. Looking back, I don’t think this was really a criticism. It was just how I was. She said she would get me all cleaned up, only to find me sitting in a mud puddle again, or playing with some animal in the dirt.

While working on this project, I have loved the feel of paint spattering onto my face during Katie’s paint drumming session, the shavings flying all around me while capturing Johnny cutting wood, and the cold rain on my face and hands while Johnny swung around a lamp post for me in the rain at the mall.

Chris and I went to the movies tonight and it was miserably rainy and cold on the way in the theater and even worse on the way out. These days I bring my camera with me everywhere, so I had it with me. Upon leaving the theater, I was immediately captivated by the site of my patent leather Mary Jane heels in the rain. The juxtaposition of the conservative nature of the shoes and the childlike freedom of the rain was so compelling to me. I ran through some puddles and began to photograph my feet, all the while getting completely soaked. Immediately, I was that little girl again, feeling alive and free. I laughed out loud as Chris watched me from the side of the nearest building, just looking at me and smiling. He has learned to be patient with me, and even appreciate these parts of my personality. This is more than I could have ever asked for, to be doing something so seemingly absurd, and yet feel completely supported and loved. I am a blessed woman.

Before long, I was jumping up on brick walls, iron grates and looking at my shoes in every possible texture and light. (Can you picture this?) Unaware of my surroundings, I heard a soft laugh coming from an older man who was walking past me, umbrella in hand. He was still smiling as he crossed the street. I don’t think he was making fun. I think the sight of  me and my shenanigans just took him by surprise.

This project has already helped me become more comfortable in environments where I once would have worried about what people thought. I am learning life is just too short for that, and I would rather get the shot then worry if people think I am a little strange. There is too much life to be had, too much to feel, too many puddles to sit in for that to hold me back. I am strange, and I kind of like it.

Time to live.