Project 365 Day 138: No Hiding

Canon 5D Mark ll, 100 2.8 macro, 3.2 aperture, 1/200 shutter, 100 ISO

There are times when I just want to hide. “I am not here”, I want to say to the world, ” just move along.” I just don’t feel capable. I want to be invisible. There is no hiding for this caterpillar, either. He wasn’t meant to blend in.

I felt that way today. I was asked to lead, and I just didn’t think I had it in me. I looked, and found nothing to give. I questioned God. ” You sure? – Have you seen me lately?”  Even now, at the end of the day, ( and into my tomorrow), I am still wondering about why He chooses me to do things. My head and my heart are full of excuses as to why I cannot:  I am just not good at that, there is someone better, I am afraid I will fail. I want to camouflage with my background and hope God moves onto someone else.

Makes me think of Moses and God’s exchange when God asks Him to lead the Hebrew people out of Egypt. Moses asks the Lord to have someone else do it, because he stutters, and he believes someone who speaks better than he should do it. Then God replies to him. “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the LORD?  Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” (Exodus 4:10,11) I am guessing that cleared things up a bit. Just do it.

It seems He is not seeking perfection, but a willing heart. That is enough for Him. He can do anything through my willingness to do whatever He asks. I just have to turn to Him and say yes.  I may not like the process, because I often feel foolish, as I did today. That’s okay.  His way is the best way. The only way to find life. Where would I be if others, including Jesus, had not done this before me?

Finding my “yes” and coming out of hiding, even if I am afraid.

Psalm 27:13,14 ~ “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”