365 Project Day 250: I Will Remember

Sacred Grief

Canon 5D Mark ll, 50 1.2L, 2.2 aperture, 1/125 shutter, 800 ISO

(*This post may not be for everyone. It is about death, but God’s goodness will always prevail. I believe this with all my heart.)

Psalm 27:13 ~ “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”

I prayed and thought often before I decided to write a post about Evelyn Juliet. But, after talking with her mommy Chelsea today, I felt not only that it was okay but appropriate. Evelyn Juliet Wallis was stillborn to her mommy and daddy, Erik and Chelsea Wallis on August the 11th of this year. She was 9 weeks from her due date. Her memorial service is tomorrow. More than the ache of not having her baby in her arms, Chelsea fears that Evelyn will be forgotten. That is why I am posting this blog. I will not forget. 

Three days before Evelyn was born, Chelsea was told the sad news that her baby was no longer living inside her womb. As if this news were not heartbreaking enough, this was the second third trimester baby they had lost in a year. This time, she wanted to have some photos of her sweet baby, to hold her and remember her for always. A mutual friend of ours sent out a message to me and several other photographers to see who could come. My heart dropped when I got the message on my phone. Chris and I were returning from a date. My countenance changed and he asked what was going on. I read the email to him and we were both silent for a long time. I knew in my heart that I was to go. One by one, the other photographers stated they could not come, and I found myself volunteering, not knowing at all what I would encounter. I did not know Chelsea and Erik, but having lost a baby of my own, I was familiar with the ache they were having to endure.

Brushed by Heaven

I loved them from the moment I met them. So young, and so brave. They were there in that hospital room waiting for their baby to be born. They knew what was ahead of them. They had done this once before. I asked if I could pray for them and I held her tight as I prayed, my heart already connected to hers. Then, I felt it, the strong presence of the Living God. He was there too. I felt Him as I prayed, warmth spreading through me like it does when I sense God is near. He was hovering, like a mother bird, over these kids. It was like holy ground.

Time passed and Chelsea with the grace and strength of a woman much older than she, continued to endure. Quiet, yet openly weeping, she waited. Erik was never far away, holding her hand, hovering and speaking softly to her, as he shed tears of his own.  I was so grateful to be in the presence of so much love and grace in the face of raw, excruciating pain. I stayed with them for more than 24 hours, watching, waiting, and praying,

Evelyn entered the world so peacefully it was hard to believe. Chelsea had chosen to give birth naturally, holding on to every moment, even in the pain. She is a beautiful mother. They did not know if their baby was a girl or a boy as they had chosen to be surprised, even in the face of death. When she was born, they wept, laughed and cried. They named her, bathed her, weighed her, and oohed and ahhed over her delicate features. I wept openly behind my camera as I tried my best to capture their most precious memories, gathering them up before they flew away. She was sweet and pink, so perfect, like little baby girls should be. She looked like she was sleeping.

Beautiful Mother

Tomorrow is her memorial. I have the honor of reading a letter that Chelsea and Erik wrote to Evelyn Juliet. I will not forget, Chelsea. Evie is forever etched in my mind and on my heart. I am so honored I got to see her with you for the first time. I am grateful to God it will not be the last.

Embrace

Erik and Chelsea do have a sweet toddler boy, Brayden, at home who keeps her busy and continues to open the windows of heaven with laughter and joy. Please pray for them when God brings them to your mind.  Chelsea has started a blog of her own sharing her journey called Tears in Precious Bottles. So honored to know them both. I am looking forward to seeing the crowns of beauty, the oil of joy, and the garments of praise that are promised to them.

Isaiah 61: 1,3  ~”The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me  to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners… to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”