365 Project Day 209: Then and Now

Canon 5D Mark ll, 24-70 2.8L,  aperture 13.0 focal length 24mm, 1/20 shutter, 800 ISO. A tripod was used to prevent blur.

He was seven years old when we first moved to “the farm” as we call it. He is standing by the best horse that ever lived, Shadow. She was 31 when she died and she is buried here on our land. She was a gift from my dear friend RM Collins, who now walks the sands of glory.

I was inspired to take this picture by Dear Photograph, a very cool website where people take pictures from their childhood and take a photo of the picture in the same place it was originally taken. I absolutely love this idea, mostly because it connects us to our past. After doing the five generation shoot yesterday, I found myself mourning the fact that I cannot go back to the place of my beginning. Not really. My family split up when I was seven, the age of Johnny in this photo. We moved often during the years of my growing up. I do not remember being in one house more than three years. Chris, however, has a similar heritage to the one in the five-generation shoot. He grew up on the same street his whole life, and most of his family still lives there in Winston-Salem. What that must feel like. I have always wanted to rewrite my story through my own little family, to have a place that is solid, not just physically, but emotionally. I want my kids to know we are here. We are in this for the long haul, and they can draw from this new root structure we have created with God’s help. I am grateful for the life I have now, but I did find my heart longing for what Christy has in her beautiful family. Just the little girl in me that often felt lost and unsure about what was happening next. All those beautiful women’s hands together, working side by side, sharing wisdom and stories, caring for one another. So wonderful.

I love my family very much. I think my mom has done a remarkable job at making me feel loved and special. Even now, she would give me the world if she could. I know that in my heart. She is the best example of a mom that I could imagine and I hope I have been like her in some ways. I know that I am loved by both my parents. I just wish it could have been different for us somehow.

God is greater than any of our mistakes or brokenness that we may come to know. For that I am incredibly grateful. He is rebuilding what once was broken.

Isaiah 61:3,4 ~ “They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated, they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.”