Afraid
Canon 5D Mark ll, 70-200 2.8L, 200 focal length, 6.3 aperture, 1/160 shutter, 100 ISO. Alien B800 to her right at 1/4 power with a 20 degree grid spot.
Sometimes I just want to blend in. Being myself can draw too much attention, and I feel afraid as the eyes of those around me begin to focus in my direction. It is so much easier to move about in the shadows unnoticed and unseen. Lately, I have been desiring to interview and photograph strangers on the street. I find people fascinating, and I just get this one life to know them and hear their story. To capture the sweet faces of their children, their grandmothers, their mothers and fathers. I want to walk right up to them and hold out my hand and introduce myself. And yet, I hide. I don’t want to intrude. I am afraid. Afraid they will think I am strange or unsafe. Afraid they will decline my invitation to photograph them. Afraid of rejection.
And so, I spend another day veiled in my comfort zone, watching life from a distance.
Hiding
Just Out of the Light
What is this hogwash, you may be asking yourself. I am asking it too. What is it? I think it is the enemy of my soul. He is seeking to to keep me from my calling in life. To love God outwardly, unashamedly, and to love and capture the spirits of the people around me. Of course he wants to make me afraid. He is my enemy, after all.
There are other reasons I hide. I hide because I feel less worthy than others. I hide because I don’t feel beautiful. I hide because I don’t listen to the voice of my Father, and follow the other voices instead. Tsk Tsk. Funny how we are so great at seeing these things in others, and telling them how not to do it, and yet we do them ourselves. Yes, I do that too. I would run circles around my kids encouraging them to come out and shine if I knew this nonsense was going on in them. Yep, big blazing circles. And yet, here I am. Hiding.
In Shadow
This is on my list of daily prayers. I am praying for courage and direction. I am asking for help to come out of the shadows, and not shy away from the light that courage and love bring. I can do this.
Gonna leave that old mask behind.
Forsaken for Freedom
Isaiah 60:1 ~ “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you”.
2 Comments
I’m so glad you’re Coming Forth Mary Anne. Let God lead you and Don’t be afraid. The Lord has showing me his will for me, I am so Grateful too him. He does want to use me for his purpose and will. I am so Happy he has been there for me all the time, but I was the one who had too seek his will for me and Trust in him. He is showing me where he wants me to be . I’m not being Held Back anymore Amen!
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing your heart.