Fresh Perspective
Canon 5D Mark ll, 100 2.8 macro, 7.1 aperture, 1/125 shutter, 100 ISO. Alien B-800 to right of flower at 1/32 power using a 30 degree grid.
This is the story of me, not giving up. Again. It was one of my hardest days yet on this project. Not sure why, other than fatigue from a long shoot yesterday, and being sick. But it is more than that, I think. I just hit a wall. I looked into myself, I looked to the Heavens, I looked around, and I just felt empty. Tired. It happens, I guess, but I am not okay with it. I just can’t throw what I consider mediocrity onto the web and call it another day done on my 365. So, I was ready to quit. King Solomon states in Ecclesiastes 1: 9, “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” I felt that way today. Nothing new. I was at the end of myself. I sat on the floor of my bedroom and prayed. No revelations came. Just some peace that God was with me, and that was enough.
I decided to press on. Not necessarily for something new, but maybe something visually inspiring. That was my original goal, anyway. I spied a couple Gerber Daisies in my kitchen, grabbed my macro lens and headed down into the studio. It was midnight. When I got there, I realized the adapter that connects my pocket wizards to my studio lights was missing. That little piece of equipment causes me more grief. So tiny. So necessary. So easy to lose. After scouring my bag, the car, the studio, the road that I shot my senior shoot on Wednesday, (after midnight now) I realized I had lost it for real this time. Frustrated, but still not ready to quit, I found a sync cord for my Alien Bee and decided to make it work with one light. I set the flowers on a stool and began to shoot. The vase fell over and soaked my pants, my feet and my lens. I grabbed a towel, cleaned everything up and started again. The vase fell over a second time. Nearly in tears, I threw another towel on the floor. Then, I decided to just go with it. ” Hey, these flowers want to be on the floor in a puddle, so I will just shoot that.” I actually said out loud. This time I poured water into the floor intentionally and placed the flowers in it. There.
Annie came down to see what I was doing, and found me on my stomach, in a puddle of water with the daisies. Some things don’t change. She wasn’t really surprised. She was very helpful though. Just what I needed. A voice of encouragement and another perspective. “Looks cool from this angle” she said walking a circle around me. ” Oh yeah?” I asked. I have learned to listen to the creative ideas of others. In fact, I value them and I learn a lot from them. Especially my kids. They all have great eyes for beauty and light. I moved to her position, and she was right. It was just the magic I was looking for. Sighing gratefully, I took several shots of my bathing flowers. Everyone was relieved. The flowers and me. Shot for the day, done.
This project has shown me that it isn’t all magic and inspiration. A lot of the time it is just plain hard work and pressing through. A little more grit in the mix, and that is good. I am also learning that just because something is really difficult, it doesn’t mean that God is not with me.
Bathing Beauty
Orange Reflections
Elegant Profile
14 Comments
Mary Anne, not only are these pictures unique and gorgeous, but your words always speak to my heart. Thank you for being so transparent – that life isn’t grand all the time. Sometimes God wants us just where we are, even if it’s in a puddle of water. Wonderful 365 today, and I’m SO GLAD you didn’t give up! You are loved!
I love you, dear Alyson. You are a gift to me.:)
Hard Earned Wisdom.
Your grit is glorious.
Happy Mother’s Day
Great shots. Sorry that it was a difficult feat to caspture these but you did good. I hope you find that piece you nare missing.
Have a fabulous Mothers day.
Happy Mother’s Day, Liz! Blessings to you this day!
Marry Anne, don’t ever give up. Your words and images are a daily inspiration to me and many others. I read 3 blogs every morning – John Eldridge (Wild at Heart), John Maxwell, and yours. They help me put my day in focus and provoke thought, conversation, and sometimes much needed laughter. You have a way of seeing and writing of things that is unique. Thank you for sharing your gifts.
Mark,
I am honored to be in such great company! Wow! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog. I am so grateful that anything I do here is a blessing. Thank you for your encouragement.
Believe it or not, this is one of my favorites so far…it’s real and vulnerable. As one of your readers, I say that you don’t need to worry about having a post every day where you are “hitting it out of the park” (so to speak.) There’s real beauty in mediocrity. We all know what it feel like to be lying in the puddle on the floor looking for inspriation and hints of God’s presence. Thank you for sharing that feeling so eloquently. Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Tina,
Thank you for all of your comments! Your encouragement is so valuable to me. Blessings to you!
Mary Anne, you are something else! I love this blog and the pictures are special. Thank you for your inspiration even when things are difficult.We have all been there, so you are writing about what is real life.
Happy Mother’s Day. I know all your readers are glad you continue to press through visually and emotionally, thank you. May God fill you to overflowing…
Happy Mother’s day to you, Jodi. Thank you for coming by and leaving your kind words.:)
Oh, my sweet Mary Anne! It was so wonderful being with you today even though you were not well. I appreciate you making the effort although I almost felt like you were doing all just for me. My gift was wonderful. Just what I wanted. Note cards made from the blue and white teapot with the yellow roses that you took for the Mother’s Day blog. I love them and can’t wait to use them. Thank you so much. Thank you for being my daughter!
I love this one! I just saw it for the first time. The images are beautiful! (as are your words.)
Love you momma